Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sam Spade. Imperial pilot, jedi and wino

Well, my post NGE toon is having some major identity issues.

I'm an Imperial pilot coming to terms with being Force Sensitive and was a bit freaked out at finding myself on Tansari Point after having been shot down BY the Empire. I can only assume that some idiot mercenery was jamming the IFF frequencies again, but c'mon, even a sunblind Sullustan can tell teh differnece between a TIE fighter and, well, anything else in space.

Moreso, that treacherous scum deserter Solo and his furbag pet was there to 'rescue' me, promptly gunning down some innocent troopers who were slacking off on a ref break in the hangers. I went along with them on that rustbucket freighter (damn fool, he thinks I didn't see his 'hidden compartments'? Just wait till I get to a terminal and update the Imperial database) hoping to lull him into a false sense of security and find a link between him and the Rebellion.

Oh good grief. The memory of that flight still haunts me. Perhaps it was the emotional trauma of being forced into shooting down more innocent, law abiding Imperials (note to self, must get a better ship than a TIE, they're too easy to light up) or the close presence of the Emperors henchman Vader, but it was after that trip that I found I was becoming more closely aligned with the Force.

Still, needs must, as they say. Worse things happen at sea and all that. Down to Mos Eisley on some bassackwards desert planet called Tatooine. I don't know what it is with Solo but he's got me hooked up with some of his underworld cronies already. What a patsie!

And some petty criminal, Bubba, Booby, Bib, something like that. Ugly kid, bad teeth, looks like he fell out the ugly tree and chewed every branch on the way down... he's on my comm day and night telling me that I'm to work for Jabba the Hutt? The bollocks I will, I'm headed for Bestine and the nearest Imperial admin centre. I've got to report in. Tho the paperwork for losing a TIE fighter off Ord Mandell and then explaining about the Imperial pilots and troopers I've killed so far, to say nothing of being seen in the company of old Bloodstripe Solo....

Well, anyhow, I end up working as a hired thug for Jabba the Hutt. Yeah, that made so much sense. About as much sense as working for that Watto thing... what was THAT about? Apart from killing more of my Imperial brothers?

I did manage to get some time to commune with the Force and met some cool folk who helped me understand that the Light path is one of seeking balance. So I'm doing my best to be at one with the Force and to strive to stay on the Light side.

Which is why slaughtering those escaped prisoners for the Hutt rankled so much. And I'm now worried about what Lady Valarian is going to have to say to the Imperial sector command about this idiot jeti running about the planet killing her henchmen and putting a bit of a crimp in her business activities.

Fortunately an Imperial contact got me hooked up woth some work for the RSF on Naboo. And a merry old time that was. Killing terrorists, petty criminals, random thugs. I suppose the Force has a plan for me. At least that old woman, Trehla, in Eisley seemed to think it had. Hope she was right...

I worked for the Royal Security Forces, on detachment from the Imperial Fleet obviously, for a while. Broke a couple of crime rings, smashed a smuggling ring, tortured some terrorists.... happy days. But all too soon it was over and I was posted to backwater planet after backwater planet with no feedback whatsoever from Imperial Command. I think they've forgotten about me, I mean, I'm just a number to those beurocrats...

and so I find myself harrassing farmers and beachcombers on Corellia. Yeah, more police work. More private detective work would be closer to the truth.

You know, sometimes I wake up in the night and see myself as Philip Marlow, or maybe Sam Spade... the gumshoe with the light saber.

It's really not the life I had imagined for myself. Was gonna serve my time with the Fleet, then buy a little farm someplace and raise durnis for the snackfood industry. But here I am, living out the life of some half assed detective / hired gun, running to and fro, killing Drall patriots because "they might not be up to something now but they will be eventually", huh? What in Drokks name is that about?

And, now I've come to terms with being Force Sensitive, well, where's my support network? Where's my training? My induction into the Jetii Temple? How can I ever pursue a path to the Light side if I keep getting sent to kill random innocents 'just to make the numbers up'??

You know, if alcohol had any effect in this game I'd curl up with a big bottle of Vasarian Brandy and get out of my head on spice... I'm just one crazy mad mixed up Force sensitive Imperial pilot deserter thug scum...

It can't get any worse than this, can it?

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